Tordoff doesn't have any songs to sing. (Not till a cheesy closing
medley, anyway.) Tordoff is also, unlike the others, a raging success:
a concreter from Goole who runs a business laser-screeding (which is to
say, levelling) floors. Tordoff has a wife, Mandy, to whom he's given
jewellery to the value of 11K, and a daughter, Courtney, whose pony is
worth 4K. His ranch-style property was recently valued at 427K. But
he hankers after another life: as an after-dinner speaker. This is the immensely talented Graham Fellows's
commitment to a character who is, for all his bumptious excess, an
innocent. The laughs are in the details: his over- informativeness
about laser-screeding, aided by a deliciously dull corporate video; his
action-man hobbies - scuba-diving and quad-biking, "with falconry to be
introduced in '07"; most of all, the sheer quality of the acting.
Tordoff's uneasy alpha-male movements are a real lesson in physicality.
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